How to Avoid Post Wedding Blues

unhappy womanYour wedding day can be like anything that you plan for and look forward to, it is built up over time and once it is over, at some point you have to come back down to earth and face reality.

The wedding is over and you have no more favours to make, no fittings for your dress, no browsing through bridal magazines for ideas and no butterflies in the tummy.  You have said your vows, been on honeymoon and now it is time to go home and begin the rest of your life. 

Having been involved with such a lot of preparations and drama over a period of many months, sometimes years for some people, it can be too easy to feel a little down and flat that the organisation is over and you feel like you have nothing to do.  The last thing you want is to become depressed, not only emotionally but physically.

You have had a lot of enjoyment (and probably a lot of tears) throughout the organisation of your wedding day.  It is such a momentous occasion in your life that it can easily take over your every waking moment.  You lie in bed thinking about table decorations or you see an advert on the television that showed a flower arrangement that you liked, everything you see and talk about is usually wedding related in the lead up to the day. 

Unfortunately for those who concentrate primarily on their wedding that it overtakes their life completely, they could be setting themselves up for a bigger fall after the day is gone.

Top Tips for Fighting Wedding Blues

  • Be realistic, your wedding may have been a fairytale dream come true but married life is not like that.  You have just been the focus of attention and once that attention has gone it can be difficult and it will take time to adjust to normal life, and can even be quite scary for some.
  • Create your own website complete with photographs and videos and a comments section where your friends can voice their opinions about what they enjoyed at your wedding.  This will enable you to show off your lovely photos and also have a reminder about the day should you begin to feel sad.  Don’t spend all day looking at it though, it was a brilliant day and one to remember but you should be living your life and working on your marriage.
  • Don’t be disheartened if you are not intimate with your partner on your wedding night, it does not mean that your relationship will continue this way, it could just mean that you are both tired after a long and busy day celebrating.  It is actually quite common for newlyweds not to consummate their marriage on the same day.
  • Don’t live in each others pockets just because you are now married.  Be sure to spend some time away from each other doing different activities or with different friends.
  • During the lead up things can get quite stressful so in order not to feel like a complete bag of nerves on the day and for weeks afterwards, you should take time to relax, whether it is curled up on the sofa with your partner with a good book or splashing out on some stress relieving beauty treatments.
  • sad brideFor some who are feeling particularly depressed afterwards, talking it over with friends or even a counsellor may help.
  • Get on with being married, in other words, forget about being a bride now, you are a newlywed not a bride-to-be.  If you feel you can, throw away the wedding magazines and anything bridal related on your computer or lying around the house.
  • Give yourself some time to get used to being a married person; even if you were living with your partner beforehand, for some, a wedding certificate can make a difference to their relationship.
  • If you have a hobby, don’t throw it on the back burner and forget about it.  You need to have some form of distractions and not be completely focused on just the wedding.
  • It is important to remember that you are a couple.  It is not just about the big day ahead but about you as a couple committing to each other.  Before the wedding, make sure you spend plenty of time together, just the two of you.  Give yourself a day or two every week where there is no wedding talk at all.
  • It is perfectly normal to feel deflated and remember that you are not the only bride to feel this way.
  • Plan a short break away for the two of you a few weeks after your wedding.  It is important for you to relax but also will give you something else to look forward to.  Organise other get togethers with family and friends, even if it is just to watch your wedding video with them, it will focus your mind on other things and help you come down from the deflated feeling gently.
  • Recognise that you might be feeling loss and grief over a life that you feel you have left behind but where possible, try to think about what you are gaining in your relationship.
  • Remember to talk to your partner about how you are feeling, it will be important for you to get support from them and you never know, they might be feeling exactly the same way!
  • Take up a new hobby or find something else to focus your mind on, perhaps a qualification or a birthday party.
  • Think of your wedding day as ‘one of’ the best days in your life and not the best!  You will have many more fantastic days together with your partner that could include the birth of your first child or receiving the keys to your first home together.  Your wedding day is not the one and only best day of your life but the beginning of your life.
  • Try not to think too much about the money that you have just spent, starting off your married life in debt can be quite daunting to a lot of couples.  Concentrate on each other, particularly if you are suffering with post wedding blues as many partners begin to feel ignored or neglected.

One in Ten Brides Suffer

If you do begin to suffer with feelings of melancholy or depression after your wedding, remember that they will eventually go away.  Apparently it is common for one in ten brides to become depressed after their wedding day.  For them, suddenly becoming a married person and no longer single causes them to fall apart.  They may feel very low and sad but for some they are not even able to get themselves out of bed.  This can unfortunately cause a real strain on the newlywed’s relationship.

After the big day is over, your wedding will still be a big feature in your life as you will be talking about it for months to come and you have your photographs and videos to look forward to.  A wedding album can sometimes take months to finalise so for some newlyweds, they have to rely on photographs taken by their friends on the day.  Be prepared after you are hitched to be asked the same questions over and over again; how are you enjoying married life?  How does it feel to be married?  At some point these questions will get a little annoying but remember that the person asking is asking you for the first time since your wedding day!

If you are unlucky enough to suffer with slight or even severe post wedding blues you should remember that you are not the first bride to ever feel this way and you will not be the last.  However, you have the advantage of knowing that this is a potential risk so you should do your best to avoid it happening to you!