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Getting the Groom Involved in the Wedding Planning

groom speechThe groom's duty once upon a time used to be fairly limited to just proposing, selecting his best man, paying for the honeymoon and making sure he was on time at the Altar waiting for his bride.

Leaving all the planning and preparations up to his future wife and her parents the groom used to take a back seat. But with the majority of today's couples now paying for their own weddings and setting up home together before getting married the modern groom >> has more of an idea of what is happening for the great day.

While some men are more than happy to step back and leave it all to the bride there are others who want to get involved and know all about the planning for their wedding.  Indeed some brides-to-be want their partner to get involved with the preparations and are only too happy to have them 'on board' where decisions are needed for their wedding day.

Many grooms may well prefer to handle the logistical and legal aspects of the wedding while leaving the choice of wedding colours, flowers, favours and gifts to his bride. 

A lot of the decision such as venue, honeymoon, wedding cake, food and photographer can be made jointly and while the bride gets busy with other matters the groom could be allocated the cars, travel plans for guests such as accommodation for out of town guests and booking the flights for the honeymoon to name a few.

Brides - Don't say 'I Want' say 'Let's do this Together'

As a bride-to-be and one that wants your future husband to be involved with most if not all of the wedding plans, you can help by letting him know what colours, theme and type of wedding you have always dreamed off and then work from there.

Some suggestions on how to get your groom involved and to make him feel his ideas really do count can be along the lines as follows:

Instead of starting out with 'I want this', or 'this is the place, theme, colours' I want' why not go along the lines of 'which colour scheme do you like the best', 'would you prefer a beach, tropical or themed wedding', is there anywhere that is very special to you' etc.

This form of communication will let your future groom know that you feel his input is important and you want to mark the beginning of your life together as a couple by deciding things together.

Other Ideas for Grooms Involvement

Music - grooms can get involved in sorting out the music by picking out songs to be played at the reception.  Choosing music that is not only his favourite but a song that has a meaning for you both or a favourite song of a dearly departed loved one.

Creating your wedding websites can be delegated to those grooms that are technology related.

When it comes to choosing the menu the groom's input on what his favourite foods are should be included or for the chef in him what about a special family recipe added to the dishes.

Planning the honeymoon from where to stay, how to get there, booking the travel arrangements and finalising the details is one way that a groom can play a truly active role in the preparations and decisions.
Choosing the gifts for the best man and ushers can be left to the groom.  After all they are best friends and nobody should know them better than he does!

Deciding and choosing the favours that are to be given to the males in the wedding party.

Transportation as in research into limousines or other forms of transport can be a way to incorporate mans affinity for automobiles.

If you feel as a bride-to-be that your future husband is not one to take tasks on board and get on with them, but still wants to be involved, then delegate certain tasks for him to do.  Draw him a wedding-to-do list where he can plan out his own schedule in a weekly or monthly diary.

Wise Choice of Best Man

The choice of best man and ushers will be the groom's own one but when deciding who you want to stand at the aisle with you and make a speech about you remember to choose wisely and don't be pressured into choosing somebody you really don't want.

If you have a selection of good friends and you feel it may be difficult to choose which one to be your best man then careful consideration should be taken on who you feel you can trust to be there for you. Some suggestions to help your choice may be along the lines of:

  • Be certain they will not get drunk and ruin the speeches.
  • Don't choose an old flame of your future wife.
  • Have somebody you can totally rely on.
  • Ensure your best man won't allow you to be humiliated on your stag night.
  • Double check they can make the wedding day.

Above all, remember this is also the groom's special day and his voice and opinions should be heard. A wedding day is between two people and the wedding should reflect your style as a couple and show the world you are united.