Groom Speech

groom speechThe joining of two people in love is a celebration shared by family and friends who wish them well and joy in their new married life.

But it can be a stressful experience for those that play a vital part on the day and although the main responsibility for planning can be at the bride's feet it is still somewhat of a daunting task for the groom's part in their special day.

The groom has his best man to organise the stag night, ensure the rings are kept safe and handed over at the right time as well as getting the groom to the ceremony on time.

One of the groom's most important parts after saying 'I do' will be his speech at the reception when he will stand up in front of all his friends and family (and some he may have never met from the bride's side) to speak publicly about his new wife and give thanks.

The Groom's speech should be more along the lines of thanking personally all those people who were involved in the preparations of the wedding and those who have taken time to come along to help him and his new wife celebrate their day.

A reference to how he first met his wife can be an entertaining part of his speech and what brought them together and how and when he decided she was the women he wanted to spend the rest of his life with.

The Groom is Sincere with Heartfelt Thanks

As wedding speeches go, the best man's is usually based on light-hearted humour and funny anecdotes, the bride's father tells the wedding party that he has a fine and upstanding man now married to his daughter and traditionally the groom's speech is along the lines of sincere and heartfelt thanks.

As with most speeches a dollop of humour, compassion and humility can certainly go a long way in your groom's speech and one that will be remembered and smiled about for a good while.

At most weddings there are traditionally three wedding speeches, these wedding speeches normally follow this order :

  1. Brides Father Speech
  2. Grooms Speech
  3. Best Man Speech

Where to Start the Grooms Speech and What to Say

Knowing where to start with your speech can be the hardest part of it and in case you are wondering it is normally very easy to spot the groom who didn't rehearse his speech so do so whenever you get the chance.

Write down a blueprint of what has been important and special to you both as a couple and using memories of some of those favourite times is an ideal place to start.  Think about what you have both spoken about for the future and your hopes and dreams with each other.

In a nutshell your groom's speech should be along the lines of the following but in no particular order.

  • Thank your new father-in-law for his speech and for his beautiful daughter.
  • Thank the guests for coming along to share the day and thank them for their gifts.
  • Both sets of parents can be thanked if they have helped in any way towards the wedding.
  • A token gift can be given at this stage to the mothers.
  • Compliment your wife and everybody can't help but go 'awwwww' when you do.
  • Gifts and thanks are given to the best man and the rest of the bridal party.
  • A toast to the bridesmaids.

Grooms Speech - Don't Say This....

There are some things that are best left our of your speech. You may find them funny, some of your mates may find it funny, but odds are that some guests will not - it's not worth upsetting a few, for a cheap laugh.

  • Foul language should never be entered into your groom's speech.  It is unethical and uncalled for and with a varied age group chances are you will offend those of the older generation and those with children who love to copy.
  • Never make any mention of old girlfriend's or their names.
  • Don't talk badly about any family members or friends who could not make it to the wedding.
  • As nervous as you may be don't drink too much and end up slurring your words.
  • Remember the age group and don't bring any smutty jokes into your speech.

Quick Pointers for Groom's Speech

Information and advice on groom's speeches can be found in books and on the internet.  There are even companies who will write your speech for you if you are truly stuck but in reality it's one of the most important speeches you will ever have to say and on that basis alone it should come from you alone and your heart.

  • Start thinking about the speech six months before the big day. That way you can be writing down material you can use.
  • For the grooms speech, remember you are speaking on behalf of yourself and your bride so start and end your speech with 'my wife and I'.
  • Remember to include the following in your speech:
    • Thank your parents and brides parents for their love and support. Present both mothers with flowers.
    • Thank the bridesmaids, pageboys and ushers for all their hard work. Present each with individual gifts.
    • Thank the Best man for his support and doing a great job. Ask him to go easy on you in his speech. This will add to the guests anticipation of the eagerly awaited speech. Present the Best man with a gift from yourself and your wife.
    • Thank all the guests for coming, telling them it means a lot to you and your wife.
    • Talk about your wife and how you first met. The first date you had and how you proposed. Tell the guests any funny anecdotes about you and your bride.
    • Mention how wonderful your bride looks (look at her when you say this).
    • Toast to the bridesmaids from you and your wife.
  • Make a copy of your speech in case you lose the original.
  • Be positive, the audience has been waiting to listen to your speech.
  • PRACTICE your speech in front of close friends and record it. This allows you to get feedback from people and you can judge your pace.
  • Make eye contact with one person at a time during the course of your speech.
  • If you are telling an anecdote set the scene so all guests can relate to the story, but keep it brief.
  • Smile, and your audience will smile with you.
  • Most importantly, be YOURSELF, if you're not yourself and try to be somebody your are not, the audience will not be as forgiving.
  • If you forget a line, just apologise and laugh it off and the audience will laugh with you.
  • You should end with a toast to your gorgeous bride.
  • Don't make your speech too long and risk having people getting restless.
  • Give your new wife a single flower that has some meaning to you both just as you are about to start your speech.
    A famous quote, poem or joke can be a good way of ending your speech.

Ending The Grooms Speech

Your speech's final moment can be when you look into your new wives eyes and tell her how excited you are about starting a new life together and how much you are going to enjoy planning and building your new future with her for many happy years to come.

My son-in-law made a reference to the coach that must have got lost on the way to Ascot because of the amount of hats in the room.  This raised quite a laugh.