Mother of the Bride

mother of the brideThe traditional role for the Mother of the Bride can differ vastly in today's modern wedding planning.  This could mainly be due to the fact that a lot of daughters have already left home and set up house with their partners long before their wedding date has been decided. 

They have become more financially and mentally independent than brides of yesteryear when parents undertook (more so the mother of the bride) the whole planning of the forthcoming wedding.

A lot of daughters still turn to their mother for help and guidance in planning one of the most important days of their life, but they undoubtedly have their own ideas and thoughts on exactly how they want it to be and have long ago chosen their colours and themes.

Advice, Support and an Exciting Attitude

Mothers of the bride therefore have to remember that in these cases, it really is advice, support and an exciting attitude your daughter is seeking from you.  She will most certainly not wish for your style, your choice or anything that resembles what you have always wanted even if you are picking up the bill for the wedding.

The Mother of the Bride can help in many ways and daughters may be delighted that their mothers want to help and they can take a lot of the responsibility, strain and stress of the bride's shoulders in many ways. 

The traditional role played in the past by the Mother of the Bride once the wedding date had been decided was to:

  • Help with setting up the guest list.
  • Order the stationery (invitations, menus, order of service, place cards)
  • Send out the invitations and monitors replies.
  • Supply copies of the gift list request.
  • Help the Bride to choose her dress and other outfits.
  • Arrange and book the reception.
  • Hire the cars.
  • Organise the flowers for the church, reception and the bride's bouquet.
  • Book the photographer.
  • Draw up the seating plan.
  • Generally act as the official hostess.

Mother of the Bride on the Wedding Day

mother helping brideIf your daughter is planning her own wedding, but still intends on having the full traditions, your 'Mother of the Bride role' on the wedding should be as follows:

When the bride is ready (if she is getting married from home, or in the same location, you will ensure the flowers are delivered, the photographer is on time, the cars have shown up, oversee the dressing of the bridesmaids and last but by no means least, help the bride put her dress on. The bridesmaids will then leave in the same car as the Mother of the Bride to the church, where you will be escorted to your seat 'Mother of the Bride is always the last to be seated'.

After the ceremony the bride and the groom's parents, the bridesmaids, best man and ushers witness the signing of the registry.  On leaving the venue the bride's mother will walk alongside the groom's father behind the best man and chief bridesmaid. The groom's mother will walk with the bride's father.

If the bride and groom are having a reception line, the parents of the bride are traditionally the first persons to greet the arriving guests, with the Mother of the Bride first in line.

On the top table, [seating plan information] the mother of the bride will be seated to the left of the groom with the bride's new father-in-law on her left.

After the newlyweds have had their first dance, mother of the bride dances with the groom's father and the bride's father dances with the groom's mother.

It is the Bride and Groom's Day

As Mother of the Bride, your outfit will be somewhat significant.  Think carefully when making your choice as it is important not to overshadow the bride.  Talk it over with your daughter and unless she wishes it, do not wear white or cream!

Do not assume that because you have been asked to help (or indeed, if you are paying for it,) you can dictate how the day will go.

If your daughter and son-in-law have their own views on their wedding day and wish to plan it themselves, let them!  Remember that it is after all their day and you can help by letting them know that you are available at any time to step in if they want your advice on anything.  You, as the mother of the bride can be proud that you have raised your daughter to be independent and know her own mind. Buy your outfit and enjoy the day!

Bride's-to-be and Your Mother

mother supporting brideYour wedding day is going to be one of the most important and special days of your life and one you will hopefully remember for a long time afterwards, building many wonderful memories.

Your mother can help you in many ways, if you want her to.  Many mothers will want to get involved with their daughter's wedding and if you really want to organise it all yourself, but at the same time do not want to injure her feelings, there are small ways you can get her to 'help you' as in asking her advice for:

  • Wedding and reception locations take her with you to one or two.
  • Shop together for not only your dress, but the bridesmaid plus hers.
  • Plan the guest list together.  Make it clear from the start your numbers.
  • Mention she will be at the head of the receiving line. (Hostess of the line).
  • Ask if any family traditions have been handed down in the family on weddings.

Weddings are a wonderful way for your family and loved one's to join in and help you celebrate your vows, they can also be one of the most stressful times and cause rows.  We all differ in our opinions and views remember the most important people are the Bride and Groom, it's their day, so they can do and have whatever they wants!!!