Wedding Page Boys (Pageboys) and Ring Bearer

Pageboys are normally between the ages of 5 and 10. The pageboy traditionally could either carry the rings on a cushion to the bride and groom, or walk behind the bride down the aisle carrying the trail of her dress, if it was long

In this section

Should you have pageboys?

This is a dilemma many brides face if they have very young nephews. Many of you will feel your damned if you do because of the uncertainty of how they might behave on your big day and you'll be damned if you don't, as if you don't have them then you might offend your relatives.

The thing to bear in mind is

  • It's your wedding, so you can have who ever you want.
  • If you are going to have young children in the bridal party tell them and their parents as soon as possible, so they have time to plan and get used to the idea.
  • Take the pageboys out to find an outfit.
  • Allow the pageboys to voice an opinion on what they should wear. For example you can choose the pageboy outfit and they could choose from a range of shoes and accessories, which you have selected.
  • Find outfits that the pageboys look angelic in and compliment your wedding dress as well as the grooms wedding outfit.
  • If the groom is wearing a morning suit the pageboy will often wear the same outfit.

Who should pay for the pageboy attire?

I had four young attendances at my wedding and we all agreed on a compromise at the start with all the parents concerned, that I would pay for each child's wedding outfit and that the parents would buy any accessories required including their shoes.

I'm sure some of you will feel still awkward about discussing who should pay for the young attendance outfits, but if you reach a compromise as I did in the early stages of your wedding preparation then you need not have to worry about it at all.

Small budget

  • Come to a compromise with the parents of the young attendance involved and agree to how much you can afford to spend on their wedding attire, and how much they are willing to contribute.
  • Many of the high street shops sell off the peg pageboy outfits at competitive prices.
  • You can hire the pageboy outfits but remember to insure them for any damage.
  • If the pageboy already has a smart pair of black trousers and a white shirt then he may only need a waistcoat and tie to complete the look.

Large budget

  • Do not compromise pay for the all the young attendance wedding attire.
  • Have the pageboy outfits made.

Whatever you budget remember to buy gifts for the young attendances, thanking them for all their hard work. Traditionally jewellery, which has been engraved, is given.

Ring Bearer

When people hear the word 'ring bearer' they usually picture a small child wearing a very dapper looking outfit and carrying a small pillow which will hopefully have the wedding rings securely tied to it.  Most often than not this child is a young boy under the age of ten years old and is either a family member or a friend's son.

As the ring bearer's job is more of a symbolic gesture in keeping with the ambience of a wedding, traditionally the rings on the pillow are not normally the 'real' ones; these are usually kept with the Best Man.  However, if a couple want the real rings to be carried by the ring bearer they are usually sewn (or tacked) on with a little thread.

There is no reason why a girl cannot be a ring bearer.  Maybe you do not know any young boys who can fill the position or you feel that one of your nieces for example may do a better job.  It is possible to have two ring bearers if making a choice proves difficult with each child carrying a pillow with one ring attached.

The ring bearer you choose should be someone who is important to you both but be wary of choosing someone very young as you want to avoid the child being frightened or distracted during the service. 

This small person is usually the last person to walk down the aisle but this does not make his job any less important.  He is responsible for making sure that the rings make their way to the altar for the Bride and Groom to enable them to complete their vows to each other.