Your Wedding Day With or Without the Kids

child at weddingAre you umming and arring about whether to invite children to your wedding? Are you worried that if you do they might ruin your big day?

For some couples whether to or not to invite children to their wedding can pose a real dilemma.

Many couples worry about offending guests if they don’t invite their children and if they do invite them then they worry about the extra cost.

Whatever you ultimately decide here is some useful advice to help you if you do choose to invite children and the etiquette of breaking the news to guests gently if you choose not too.

Children Welcome Wedding Advice

If you are planning on allowing children of invited guests to your wedding, you might want to consider hiring a children’s entertainer, such as a magician, balloonist, face painter, story teller or setting up a crèche for younger children.

Something along the lines of a craft table to save older ones from getting bored no glue or tacs though!  Your venue may even have a TV room that you could use where films/cartoons could be watched or a game console could be played.

Garden Entertinment for Children

bukerooIf you are planning a summer wedding then why not keep them entertained outside with giant party games such aa a bouncy castle, an inflatable slide and giant Jenga (tumble tower).

You may also consider involving them during the day in someway, perhaps as a page boy or flower-girl, or for the older ones, an usher to hand out the Order of Service.

My husband and I had all the children at our wedding hand out the wedding favours to the guests, this made them feel really special on the day and they all got a round of applause.

Talk to the caterer in advance about what menus they have that will caterer for both children and adults whilst staying within your set budget. Remember to mention drinks for the children, simple items such as sugar free jugs of squash and water. 

Gifts for the Page boys and Flower girls

When choosing a gift for either the page boy or flower girl try and ensure it is a gift they will appreciate and look back and remember the important role they had to play on your wedding day.

Flower girls are traditionally given silverware jewellery such as a bracelet or necklace with matching earrings, while boys are presented with a watch; both gifts can be engraved with the childrens name and details of your wedding.

bridesmaidIf you’re struggling for inspiration then ask the children’s parents, as they will know what their children would appreciate. Its important to avoid giving the children money or buying them a present which isn’t representative of the role they had to play at your wedding, such as a game for a game console, as like with any toy, children will eventually get bored of it or grow out if it.

Other classic gifts include cufflinks, personalised mugs, photo frames engraved with the wedding details and their photo, a camera and book so they can record the day from their perspective, music box or trinket box.

If however you’d like to give the page boy and flower girl something a little different why not name a star after them, as no doubt they would have been a star on your wedding day. Then you can present them with a certificate and a telescope so they can look to the sky and try and find it. ( Lets hope the kids don't argue about star names with their teacher in astronomy class...)

What should the page boy and flower girl wear?

Page boys traditionally wear the same outfit to that of the groom and the best man. However if your wedding budget it somewhat stretched then you might want to consider the pageboys wear smart dress, of formal shirt and of trousers.

The flower girl would traditionally wear an ivory, white or light pink dress, complementary to that of the brides wedding dress. Like in the case of the page boy outfit flower girl dresses can be expensive if your budget is limited then look to find a plain/neutral pretty dress which is complementary to the brides wedding dress which can be accessorised to achieve the look you want.

Child-Free Wedding Advice

Wording on your Wedding Invitations

If, on the other hand, you are unable or do not wish to invite children to your wedding for whatever reason, your intentions should be well worded on the wedding invitations.  Do not assume that those you send your invites to will know if the children are invited or not – remember, most people take it for granted that an invite extends to their complete family!

If you do not want extra wording added to your invitation, or if the cost works out more expensive, you could always place a small printed card within the invite to those that do have children.  Something along the lines of “Due to the number restrictions at our venue, only children from our immediate family can be invited  – we hope you understand and look forward to seeing you both at our wedding”.

Most brides-to-be send out the invitation well in advance of the wedding and this will certainly allow those that have children plenty of time to make any necessary arrangements.  This would even work out cheaper for those couples who are attending your wedding and wish to stay overnight in a hotel. 

Always try to make allowances for those relatives or friends that are close to you and also have a very small baby.  They may feel unable to attend your wedding if they happen to be breast feeding so try to accommodate wherever possible.

You need to remember that you will probably get some guests that will be unable to attend due to their children. If this is the case with your wedding don't let it upset you - this happens to be your wedding day and it is a very special occasion for you both - you need to focus on what is really important and you will know in your heart that the guests that do attend are there to help you celebrate the start of your new life together.