The Engagement Ring
One of the most romantic and happiest times of your life is the day you are proposed to and getting engaged to the love of your life. You are both, as a couple, making a personal and public commitment to all and sundry that you are about to spend the rest of your lives together.
Engagements once up a time was a period of time used to negotiate a bride's price from the family who would be losing a working woman and had to be compensated for their loss.
The situation reversed hundreds of years later and it has become the custom for fathers to pay their future son-in-laws a 'dowry' when they were going to marry their daughter. The engagement period then was the agreement of dowry and time for the bride-to-be to collect her trousseau.
The engagement ring was in a way a type of contract inasmuch a sign that the woman had been 'purchased' and was now the property of the groom-to-be. Nowadays the engagement ring is given as a gift of love and represents a formal agreement to future marriage.
The French during the sixteenth century are believed to be the first who used rings for such a purpose. The Gimmal ring they used was a three part ring with two clasped hands that were intertwined and the engaged couple each wore one during the engagement period plus a witness wore the third one. On the day of their wedding the groom and witness took off the rings and rejoined it to the one on the bride's finger to make her wedding ring.
You may also be interested in our articles on the Marriage Proposal and Getting Engaged
Which Hand to Wear the Engagement Ring
For us in the UK the engagement ring is worn on the third finger of the left hand but in other countries such as Ukraine, Poland and Germany it is tradition for the ring to be worn on the right hand.
In Denmark, Finland, Sweden and Germany both of the engaged couple wear engagement rings.
In Spain the woman buys a watch band for her intended groom after he has proposed.
It is customary for German couples on the day of their engagement to exchange simple gold rings. These rings are then worn on their left hands until the day of the wedding and during the marriage ceremony they are moved from the left to the right, and become the actual wedding bands.
Where the tradition of which finger to wear the engagement ring originates from is not quite certain but one strong belief that dates back as far as the 17th century is that during a wedding ceremony the priest counted from the thumb 'in the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Ghost' before arriving at the 'ring' finger.
The other belief is of an Egyptian myth of the ring being worn on the third finger of the left hand because that is where the vena amoris (vein of love) runs directly to the heart.
The Engagement Ring's Metal
Engagement Rings can be gold, silver or platinum and can be plain or patterned. When deciding on which metal your engagement ring is to be you should consider the unit of metal as this will determine the strength and durability of your ring.
The majority of engagement rings are made in 18ct, 14ct or 9ct gold such as white, yellow or rose-gold with 18ct being top of the preferred choice list.
If you go down the gold route you need to know how many carats the gold should be. A carat of gold is the unit of measure for the fineness of gold and the higher the carat measure the softer the gold. In other words a band of pure 24 carat gold would be too soft to last a lifetime if worn day in day out next to a wedding ring of harder metals as it will cause it to rub, erode and snap over time. The best way to overcome this is to choose equal carats for your engagement and wedding rings.
Engagement Ring Diamonds
Diamond 4 Cs is known as the grading system as Cut, Colour, Clarity and Carat.
Cut is the only characteristic of a diamond that is not influenced by nature and is therefore open to errors and bad practice. If a diamond is cut in the wrong way the chances are it will greatly diminish the defining sparkle.
The round cut is one of the most common shapes and the way a diamond is cut will determine the shape such as the emerald, the marquise, the oval and the heart shape.
Colour determines the value of the diamond from white (colourless) being the most valuable. Those of a very distinct and strong colour are extremely rare and called fancies.
Clarity of a diamond does not necessarily mean that your precious gem is faulty. You may if you look close enough through a magnifying eyeglass see small feathers or clouds that are usually not seen with the naked eye but in no way does it take any sparkle away from your diamond and indeed can make it unique.
A Carat is divided into 100 smaller units called points and the average size of a diamond in most engagement rings is between one carat and a half a carat. Diamond carats should not be confused with the purity of gold carats.
If you are unsure about the 4 Cs talk to your jeweller as all reputable one's will know and be able to advise you and be prepared to talk you through what it entails.
Basic Necessities for an Engagement Ring
When choosing your engagement ring you need to look behind the beauty and sparkle of it and remember this ring is to be worn almost every day for the rest of your life. Some ideas to make you think when choosing can be:
- Easy and practical to wear.
- Gemstones will remain secure in everything you do.
- It has to withstand everyday wear.
- It's made in such a way it won't scratch other people or any surfaces.
- Above all it has to look good and you feel comfortable wearing it.
Caring For Your Engagement Ring
Taking care of your engagement ring is important to keep it sparkling and looking its best. This ring is going to last you a lifetime and with loving care can become a family heirloom to pass down to future generations.
Certain household chores could end up damaging or tarnishing your ring so either remove and put in a safe place or wear rubber gloves when tacking any heavy chores that may result in damage to your ring.
You can have the ring professionally cleaned or buy a home made kit specially for cleaning jewellery.
If your ring has emeralds or opals do not immerse them in hot water as they are soft stones and any sudden change in temperature could cause cracks to appear.
Every day dirt, grease and grime can be removed by washing the ring in warm soapy water and an old toothbrush can be used to gently brush with.
Where to buy your Engagement Ring
Where you buy your engagement ring should be given a lot of thought, after all it's not going to be a cheap purchase and you are buying a future family heirloom. Some small suggestions when deciding where to buy may be along the lines of:
- Find out if the jewellery shop has a good solid and long standing reputation?
- Is the shop a member of a trade association?
- Does the Staff possess a good and sound knowledge of jewellery?
- Are they willing to sell you a ring with a gemmological certificate?
- Ensure you are given a detailed receipt as this may well be asked for in any future insurance claims or repairs.
- Ask them exactly what guarantees and warranties the shop offers.
- A good indication of customer trust is if the shop has a busy repairs service.
- Ask the salesperson if you can use the loupe to examine the diamond and have it placed on a white background. A black background could hinder the eye's perception of colour.
- Buying from the internet can sometimes be considered a bit of a gamble so cover all avenues such as being able to return if you are not happy once you receive your ring.
Engagement Ring Titbits
It may come as a surprise to find out that working in an office that uses a lot of paper is one of the worse places for jewellery as paper is mildly abrasive and constant daily exposure within an office environment can wear down your jewellery over the years.
Remember to get your engagement ring added to the household contents insurance as soon as possible.
The diamond engagement ring as we know it has been around since the 1400s when it was first found in Medieval Italy.
Ancient Greeks believed the flame of love was reflected in the fire of a diamond and the splinters were from falling stars that tipped the arrows of Eros, the god of love.
The diamond was first discovered in India where it was valued more for its magic than its beauty. It was believed that the wearer would be protected from fire, snakes, illnesses, thieves and great evil
After your wedding ring your engagement ring is probably the most important piece of jewellery you will ever have – choose carefully and treasure your little beauty.
