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Questions To Ask Your Priest / Vicar When Getting Married

ask the questionsThe decision to get married is followed by numerous questions between the bride and groom about what they want from their wedding day as well as their future together.

Choices they will have to make will include what wedding date to choose, how they want to get married and what they will have to do to save enough money for their wedding. Once these decisions have been made, the couple can discuss the questions that they should ask whoever is going to marry them!

No two weddings are the same and this is also true for the person who is conducting the ceremony, whether it is a vicar in a church, a monk at a temple or a registrar at a civil ceremony. Following are some questions and possible answers for any couple to consider which you should be able to adapt to suit your own list of questions whether it is a Catholic, Christian or Muslim service.



Questions and Answers

  • At the end of the service, will we be able to use the church grounds to take photos? You must take into consideration that there may be another wedding taking place not long after your own so other guests will be arriving and if it is a small church then the grounds could get rather crowded.
  • Are video recorders and cameras allowed in the church? Most churches allow recordings of the ceremony to take place but some only allow the video recordings and not cameras. The couple can discuss where their cameraman will be able to gain access to and where they would have to stand during the service. (Note: some charges may be made for recording, always check).
  • Are you allowed to throw confetti? Some churches only allow this outside of the church building and not inside as it does leave a mess. Some also request that you use bird seed or rice or some other form of natural product.
  • Can we advertise our wedding? In the Catholic church a couple due to be married will have a Nuptial Mass but for a Christian service, a couple may have 'banns' read out during services in the lead up to their wedding day. Some churches may even have local pamphlets they produce a small newsletters where a couple can add their up coming details.
  • Can we choose our hymns and readings? In most churches this is possible but you would need to discuss how many you would like and whether the church has a standard reading that they like to have for every wedding. It would be respectful to discuss the topic for each reading with the clergyman beforehand.
  • Can we get married in a church if we have been married before?
  • Can we pick our own music? It might be that the couple will not want the traditional bridemarch by Wagner as the bride walks down the aisle and may wish to opt for something a little more modern so this is an important discussion.
  • Can we still get married in our local church even if we are not church goers or follow a religion?
  • Do we have to decorate the church? This is not necessary and should only be done if the couple can afford to do so. If you are unable to afford flowers for the church, perhaps you could look into the idea of getting married on a day when you know the church might already be decorated, for instance over the Christmas holidays.
  • ask more questionsDoes our wedding need to be at the Church? If you are a certain religion then for the majority of people this would be yes, your wedding should take place in a church. The Catholics in particular feel that when a wedding is taking place, it is not just about the family but the church as a group.
  • Does the couple need to be over a certain age to get married in the church?
  • How long will the rehearsal and service take?
  • How much does it cost? Each church will vary with regards to its fee as there may be costs involved for a choir or an organist or even bell ringers.
  • How much input into the service will we have? Some couples like to write their own vows as well as having some say about the words of the service. Don't forget to ask if the service includes the kissing the bride section at the end.
  • If needed, is it possible to have the marriage annulled? An annulment is something that would need a great deal of investigation to confirm that it would be valid but hopefully this is something that a couple will not need to worry about.
  • If we decorate the church with flowers ourselves can we keep them? It might be nice to have the flowers taken to the reception after the service.
  • If we do not get married in the church, will our marriage be recognised? It is possible for a local cleric to give permission for one of his congregation to be married elsewhere but this is something that the couple should look into further as there may only be specific reasons that will justify this.
  • Is it possible to have a church service after being married abroad first?
  • What do you need to provide the Church with? Check if you need to take along your birth certificates for instance.
  • What if we are different religions? You will need to check if different religions are able to get married in the same church as some religions will require special permission to do so.
  • Will we have to attend church before our big day? For most churches yes you will, it is only fair that the church sees some form of commitment from you when they have agreed that you will be married within their walls. In the Catholic unit, some couples are required to attend a marriage programme that is designed to help them with any preparations they will need for their future marriage together.
  • Will we have to raise our children a certain religion? This is something that needs to be discussed as some religious require this to be agreed.

Contact your local clergyman and make an appointment as soon as you can, it is always better to book the date in early as at certain times of the year the churches can get extremely busy!

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