25 replies to this topic

[Luce]

So, last October me and my older sister (MOH) decided on the bridesmaids dresses we wanted for her and my neice who is 15.



Well now, all of a sudden, my sister is saying to me that she wants to have the spaghetti straps on it because she thinks shes going to be uncomfortable wearing it! I know that spaghetti straps are really tiny and you can hardly see them but my point is...why is it that people think its okay to do this to a bride to be?? Like weddings arent stressful enough to plan without someone mucking around with your decisions. Me and my sister spent AGES looking at dresses and finally decided on the one i have chosen. I had decided from very early on that i only wanted to have strapless dresses as i like the way they look and both my sister and neice are slender so i knew they would look lovely. She agreed with this from the start and never once mentioned that it was going to be a problem. Now, all of a sudden, 5 months after ordering the dresses, its a problem.

I just feel frustrated that she didnt bring this up from the start. We couldve looked at other dresses. I feel like she is bringing problems my way just to be awkward

[MiamiBride]

Awww hun thats abit annoying.
The dress is gorgeous by the way and i think it would look much better strapless.
Why does she think she will be uncomfortable? She can always wear a strapless bra or get some boobie tape underneath and that will help hold the dress up.
xxx

[katahnya]

That is annoying. She should really have said something before the dresses were ordered.....or at least a good few months ago.

[Luce]

she said she doesnt want to be hoicking the dress up all the time. So i suggested t*t tape and she said she doesnt want to stick it all over the dress because it will ruin it. I said that im using it because a friend of mine got married recently and said its the best thing to invest in for this reason, then she said "but your dress has got a built in corset"...which i dont actually think it has... (how bad is it that i cant remember if it has because i havent tried it on since last summer!) I just think she is being awkward for the sake of it.

Us Connellys arent that blessed in the boob dept (A cups most of us are!) but im quite sure we can all keep a strapless dress on. She keeps blaming the fact that my neice is only 15 and has no boobs as the reason but i think she has just as much boob as we do so will be fine!

[MiamiBride]

It does just sound like she is being awkward. Abit of boob tape will not ruin the dress and nowadays those strapless bras are great. Just tell her u dont want the straps.
its your day she should wear what u want lol xxx

[Bee]

She may not feel comfortable in it anymore.

My MoH had picked a dress and we bought it but recently she's decided she's not comforatble in it (her boobs have got bigger) and I am happy for her to wear something she is happy in.

It wouldn't be hard to add some straps to that I wouldn't think. My MoH dress is bgeing made from scratch now and she's offered to pay for it and is keeping the other one

[MiamiBride]

Bee, on 09 March 2010 - 13:56, said:

She may not feel comfortable in it anymore.

My MoH had picked a dress and we bought it but recently she's decided she's not comforatble in it (her boobs have got bigger) and I am happy for her to wear something she is happy in.

It wouldn't be hard to add some straps to that I wouldn't think. My MoH dress is bgeing made from scratch now and she's offered to pay for it and is keeping the other one

yeah Bee u do have a good point actually.
if she has changed size etc then she may not feel comfortable.
I guess ive got a great bridesmaid as she just always asks what i would like and even checked i liked the shoes before she bought them lol.
i kept saying i dont mind u decide etc but she wanted me to make decisions. xxx

[Bee]

My MoH is like that Stacey. She constantly asking what I like when I'd rather she was happy and comfortable. I didn't want to tell my BMs what to wear as I want something they will wear again, hopefully

[MiamiBride]

Bee, on 09 March 2010 - 14:19, said:

My MoH is like that Stacey. She constantly asking what I like when I'd rather she was happy and comfortable. I didn't want to tell my BMs what to wear as I want something they will wear again, hopefully

yeah i kept saying to her, only buy some shoes/heels u will wear again not just for me lol.
And even her hair, shes like do u want me to grow it or keep it like this etc lol.
I said i dont mind what u do lol xxx

[Luce]

I know it sounds like im being a complete b*tch but to me it’s about the principle of it.

Yes, of course straps are easily added to this dress but I didn’t want dresses with straps. If she had bought it to my attention at the time of ordering then I might have considered it but she didn’t and now ive gotten used to the dresses being the way they are. I really don’t want to start changing anything to do with this wedding once its been arranged. There is no way another dress can be bought because they are £125 each so its not even an option.

Of course I want her to be comfortable. I would hate to wear something I wasn’t comfortable in…but she has tried this dress on a few times and said that she loved it. She hasn’t got any bigger or smaller in size – and her boobs certainly haven’t grown any, that just doesn’t happen in our family – so I cant understand the need to change my plans all of a sudden.

Of course I will put the straps in the dress because she will moan otherwise but I thought this day was supposed to be about what I wanted and I don’t want dresses with straps.

[K7AYLOR]

I think it's a bit off for her to suddenly decide she's not happy, I certainly wouldn't be overly impressed if either of my bridesmaids did that to me, hopefully you guys can reach a compromise

[nikkibruce2]

Well I think you should just tell her that if she wants straps added then she can pay for it herself, but you don't want them. It is about what you want and if she goes in a huff over feeling uncomfortable for ONE day, YOUR day, then, well, thats her lose

Nx

[Luce]

Embarrassingly for me - and this statement will probably make you all hate me - but she is paying for both dresses herself. She offered from the start to pay for them both and the shoes so now i will wait for you all to say that she can do what she likes right

[K7AYLOR]

Luce, on 09 March 2010 - 20:14, said:

Embarrassingly for me - and this statement will probably make you all hate me - but she is paying for both dresses herself. She offered from the start to pay for them both and the shoes so now i will wait for you all to say that she can do what she likes right

this is where I end up getting shouted at, but I think that it's not unfair for a bride to be to have her bridezilla moments. If you have a vision of something and that's what you really want then I see no problem with you saying "hang on a minute there love, this is our day and I'd pretty like x and not y". As I keep telling my family, this is the one and only day I get to make demands about things, and sure as eggs are eggs, I'll be making 'em.....whether or not I get my own way is another matter entirely

ps don't hate ya!! xx

[Luce]

awww thank you for not hating me

My sister actually calls me Bridezilla because i live and breathe this wedding everyday...I cant help it though. And i am totally in agreement with it being the day where i get to demand what i want.

Its just frightening that you plan every little thing that goes into the wedding...so for instance, dresses, shoes, food, venues, DJ, favours, music, suits, people etc...and its all seperate but has to all come together to run smoothly for one day. Its such a difficult thing. Theres so much potential for something to go wrong. I think unless you have planned something like this - which my sister hasnt as she isnt married - you will never understand how hard it is!

[MiamiBride]

Luce, on 10 March 2010 - 07:11, said:

awww thank you for not hating me

My sister actually calls me Bridezilla because i live and breathe this wedding everyday...I cant help it though. And i am totally in agreement with it being the day where i get to demand what i want.

Its just frightening that you plan every little thing that goes into the wedding...so for instance, dresses, shoes, food, venues, DJ, favours, music, suits, people etc...and its all seperate but has to all come together to run smoothly for one day. Its such a difficult thing. Theres so much potential for something to go wrong. I think unless you have planned something like this - which my sister hasnt as she isnt married - you will never understand how hard it is!

Hi Hun
I totally understand how u feel and you just want it to be perfect.
Its also quite stressful planning a wedding when other people who are not married dont understand. I have had this issue with some of my friends and family (who havent shown any interest in my wedding at all)
But on the other hand my moh Amy got married in 2008 so she has been a godsend and totally understands it when i rant or explain an issue ive got lol..
xxxx

[AmyT]

It's a difficult one as personally I wouldn't have a problem with it at all, my bridesmaids chose their own dresses, I said they could have them taken in, up, add straps, whatever made them love the dresses more. I wanted them to feel as good in their dresses as I did in mine and enjoy the whole experience. Those sorts of things just did not bother me in the slightest, they wore whatever jewellery, shoes etc they wanted and had their hair however they wanted to.


But if she knew you had your heart set on a certain style then maybe she should have mentioned it sooner if she knew how important it was to you.

[stephfriend]

I'm having pretty much the same shape dresses and all my BM's agreed they didn't want the spaghetti straps - bustier dresses look so much nicer without.

None of them are particularly well endowed in the chest department but it's nothing a good strapless bra and some chicken fillets won't fix! x

[windsweptstina]

AmyT, on 10 March 2010 - 10:50, said:

It's a difficult one as personally I wouldn't have a problem with it at all, my bridesmaids chose their own dresses, I said they could have them taken in, up, add straps, whatever made them love the dresses more. I wanted them to feel as good in their dresses as I did in mine and enjoy the whole experience. Those sorts of things just did not bother me in the slightest, they wore whatever jewellery, shoes etc they wanted and had their hair however they wanted to.

In total agreement with Amy - I'd want my bridesmaids to be as comfortable as possible so that they enjoy the day as best they can. Mine are not paying for their dresses, but if they were I'd be even more set on making sure that they were as happy as possible with them.

My hairdresser can't believe that I am happy to have them all wearing their hair different - and thought it out of order that one had her's cut... But I really couldn't care less. I want my girls to be as comfy as they can be in what they are wearing and how they are made up, I don't want to see anyone hoiking up dresses, with red sore feet or unhappy with the way their hair is. I wouldn't enjoy the day as much if I knew others weren't happy.

[Bee]

windsweptstina, on 12 March 2010 - 11:00, said:

In total agreement with Amy - I'd want my bridesmaids to be as comfortable as possible so that they enjoy the day as best they can. Mine are not paying for their dresses, but if they were I'd be even more set on making sure that they were as happy as possible with them.

My hairdresser can't believe that I am happy to have them all wearing their hair different - and thought it out of order that one had her's cut... But I really couldn't care less. I want my girls to be as comfy as they can be in what they are wearing and how they are made up, I don't want to see anyone hoiking up dresses, with red sore feet or unhappy with the way their hair is. I wouldn't enjoy the day as much if I knew others weren't happy.

Agree completely

If my BMs aren't happy then I won't be and it'll bug me