Proxy Bride and Groom
While the chaplain and wedding cake were in place the bride or groom were nowhere to be seen.
Sergeant Ryan Thompson was stationed in Iraq while Army Specialist Barbara Hines was in Afghanistan, and with them being on active duty it would have been impossible to arrange for them both to get home at the same time; not to mention finding the time to plan the wedding.
The couple who stood in front of the chaplain were the proxy bride and groom who were standing in for the real couple getting married while saying their vows on separate mobile phones countries apart.
“I love you,” Thompson told his bride over the phone outside the church. “This is for real, it’s not a joke, its’ for keeps. I love you, Mrs. Thompson.”
“I love you, Mr. Thompson,” Hines said.
The couple chose Montana after finding out via Google that it is the only state that allows marriage by proxy and the last one held dates back to the 19th century. This law was brought about for lonely miners who got married to mail order brides while they remained back East.
Captain Tracy Anderson and Sgt Michael Anderson were the proxy bride and groom, and have been married 14 years to each other while serving in the military during the entire time. They never knew Barbara or Ryan and did not even know their names until the day of the wedding.
Tracy said “It was a nice way to honour a couple serving our country that wants to be together, “we are here standing in for them, and if this helps get them together, it will make it more special.”
She went on to comment that “holding hands with her husband and saying vows brought back the memories of their own wedding day at the Cathedral of St. Helena so many years ago.”
No Family Members
The ceremony was attended by no family members as neither one of them have any Montana connections. Sandy Rose was the person who organised the event only one week after receiving the phone call from the Thompson’s asking for her help. “It’s the best thing to happen since they put a man on the moon and the day my son was born,” she said.
The newly married couple said “We have nothing but praise for her making it all come to fruition.
“She ran with it,” Ryan said. “She deserves all the credit. It wouldn’t have happened without her.”
Public relations officer Major Garth Scott said that it was the first time the Montana National Guard has been involved in a double-proxy marriage and “It’s quite an opportunity for our chaplain and the Guard to show this kind of support for our active duty brothers and sisters.”
Army Chaplain Kept in Touch by Emailing
Montana National Guard chaplain Kenneth Duvall said the ceremony, which featured a wedding cake but no exchange of rings, may be unusual but it is nevertheless legal and binding.
Counselling sessions for the couple were held by telephone calls and emails and he said “the ceremony was the most difficult he’s ever performed.
Communication, commitment and church had been his suggestions to the couple for a successful marriage and they had certainly ‘passed’ one of those!
Duvall said during the service, “communication is something couples can’t do enough of; and because men and women are different, they need to talk, talk and talk”.
This is the second time Barbara and Ryan have been married to each other and after divorcing in 2003 they always remained in close contact. Over the years they have been talking of rekindling their relationship and finally decided to reconcile and work at their marriage. They have a 5 year old son who lives at the moment in Alabama with Barbara’s sister. They hope to join up as a family again next May in Germany and have been added to the Army’s Married Couples Program.
Montana is the only state that allows double-proxy weddings if one of the couple is a Montana resident or a member of the U.S. Armed Forces.
